Monday, January 30, 2006

Consumer Woes

at least with the little vague buddhist reading i've done, I'm not stressed with desire, but wow x-boxes are cool, and i'm guessing the 360 will be even cooler. of course such a machine is out of my affordability range, and the ownership of one will do little to achieve inner peace, but playing Neil's on sat during that late night sure did improve my appreciation for a machine that you don't have to buy memory sticks for.

That and my appreciation for a night with the boys playing poker and the x-box, even if i did stay up to 4:30 in the goddamn AM having to listen to the slurping of one of the guys making out with one of Neil's Sister's Friends. at least I hope the slurping was only making out. I spent the rest of the morning upstairs. posted by Keegan at 3:40 pm ... 0 comments

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

What Was That About Getting Drunk?

I want to write about my night last night but I can't because she reads this and I don't want to lie, or admit what it felt like. So i'll stick to I got very wasted, I spent almost all my money so BDO's going to be a sober event, and I woke up alone. again. like I always do. like I will tomorrow. posted by Keegan at 5:28 pm ... 0 comments

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

So I've Been...

Watching this series called Entourage, about this up-and-coming movie star, his brother, and two of his friends from high school who live in a giant house, and go out and get laid every night. very sweet life. so here's the deal. there's three positions to be at - haven't made it, trying to make it, and made it.

for example, I haven't made it. I blog about how I've gotta save up three weeks worth of going out to have a holiday with my mates.

then there's the millions or so trying to make it. Jobs, Mortgages, Wives and all those other things that make up this kind of life.

This Series is a taste of what it would be like to be made. and if I can't have that, well the other two ain't so bad. I'm smiling, and I haven't had to bust my ass 9-5 to get this smile. A year down the line, and I might be lucky enough to get a dream job - that's making it for me. I'll be a Made Man. even if I'm stuck with a Mortgage, seeking a partner instead of a one-nighter. I'd rather the Prius than the Maserati.

I'm happy being content with what I've got. posted by Keegan at 5:35 pm ... 0 comments

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Saturday, January 21, 2006

Save Tonight, And Fight The Break Of Dawn...

Two sides of a single coin, Night and Day. Two different people. Nothing matters at Night, it's something that the Day has to deal with. Consequences are Delayed, like the morning hangover following the night's reckless abandon.

Just itchin for hawkers.... posted by Keegan at 4:42 pm ... 0 comments

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Friday, January 20, 2006

Do You Really Want To Live Forever, Forever Young

Pfft, I look back on every post and thing 'i coulda done that better', or 'what was I thinking?'. Money Issues. like anyone cares. I'm comfortable with my cash flow - I'm just getting bored sitting at home watching TV and playing computer games. ooh, i hear voices outside...

I'd be interested if I was 12.

So today, instead of stressing out about not doing anything, I looked at everything. I've got some shifts before Hawkers, Uni starts on the 27th of feb and the 3000 worder's not due till april. I've got my class times, so even if i don't know what i'm in for, at least i'll know where to be.

I'm also learning how much I need my friends, more than I need to go to the BDO. but too late to sell the ticket... maybe. I'll check ebay.

(5 Min Later)

... Tough Call. I'd make a loss of maybe $30... $100 in the hand or a whole day with some of the best talent I'll see all year... I have to go. It'll be awesome, but I'll be lonely within a crowd 55,000. posted by Keegan at 8:21 pm ... 0 comments

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Silent Wednesday

I'm on the razor's edge, balancing my budget on a tightrope for the next month. The eternal rent, the quaterly electricity, the monthly phone, and the semi-annual university cash grab. in between it all there's food, and in some possible way I have to get myself to Big Day Out, and Hawks Nest. Somehow it'll all work out, but it basically sums up to the end of summer as it was.

So I'm Trapped Here, hanging out for shifts that'll tip me over into the black. I've still got the occasional work (White Stripes are playing at the Horden the night before BDO), and Youth Allowance kicked up another $7 a fortnight. whoopee. While the bro's gone down to Newcastle, I'm guarding the fort, downloading HBO series and cheesy movies. posted by Keegan at 6:34 pm ... 0 comments

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Cure

Oh thank god I broke down and went to the doctor. Penicillin Rocks. I bet it'd even cure zombification. what it won't cure is stupid things that I do with gossip. I just don't want to know anymore.

When I had a partner, it would be fine to get told all these things, because I could tell someone and then it wouldn't get me in trouble. no wait, that's a rose-tinted view. I'd get in trouble for talking to another girl, and where was I on last thursday? and why don't you ever want to know what my friends are up to?

It's not just that though, I'm pretty bloody conflicted. I'm not convinced, based entirely on my own experiences, that I can have a strong friendship with an ex. Even if I want it. Then pour some absinthe over my brain, put a lump of sugar on my tongue and set me on fire. then see how well I do at singstar - that's what it's like without inhibitions. it's better than this half-asleep mode i'm stuck in most of the time. cause some drama, because the moment I hate the most is when everyone's gathered around the table looking at their drinks because no one knows what to say. I just want to scream. a fight's better than silence. posted by Keegan at 2:51 pm ... 0 comments

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Delerium

Saturday's Random may have caused me to become one of the Infected. I stumbled home from the Dancehall, taking three hours, and by the time I reached it, the sun was up, and my legs were cramping. spending the day passed out feverishly in bed, I rose again to stare at a box for several hours, failing to even register that I had another home to go to. the next day brought greater awareness, though I had the long slog through the city wracked with the pain of my debilitation, as a tour guide to the bookstores of the central city - kinokuniya as always sucked away more of my cash than is acceptable. I've spent the past couple of the days with nare a moan escaping my tightened throat, and the shakes of uncontrollable temperature have left me drained. that and not eating much.

yet today I am still alive, and still coherent enough to post. and thus this. new family guy and american dad, direct from the states to my computer. oh yeah, got into honours finally, and now waiting to find out what's needed when. should be reading more. will be on the way to the coast for the barbie... posted by Keegan at 9:27 am ... 0 comments

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Friday, January 06, 2006

Next On Sick Sad World...

Damn, lost focus. today is one of those days when the mind has gone wandering, I woke up at 7am much to my chagrin, so I've plowed through most of season 3 daria. Okay, so this is going to be a diatrite [sic] on sleeping. on how frustratingly I want to stay up into the next day, but there's nothing keeping me awake. So i crawl onto my hard bed with my crappy pillows, turn the fan on cos temperature's not right, the light from across the way is glaring through the cracks in the curtains, and i just want to roll over - not before i have an idea, which has been said before and someone else will say again..

so complaining. doesn't it suck? okay, fun. I'm hooked on soc.history.what-if - contra-history as a useful academic tool. I used it back in high school, the speech i wrote the morning i was to give it, and then came equal first. pissed off those who stuck to the playbook, but i don't play by the rules man. the thing was, what if Zhu De didn't get involved in the long march? would have communism in china failed without what he brought to it? and this idea was so intriguing to the history teachers though that it warranted a top mark.

and so here i can find others who have lost hours wondering 'what if?'

Contra-history rules, serves a practical purpose (do great men or the people drive history?) and it's mine. posted by Keegan at 11:57 am ... 0 comments

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Monday, January 02, 2006

1st Post of the Year

The Fires kept me away on the 2nd hottest day on record in Sydney, 44 degrees celcius. My god. stuck at my parents place with the air con on and the light outside red with all the smoke in the air...

but I'm really here because it's a new year and that's a challenge to make changes. Somethings never do, but at some point during this year I'll probably get some sort of job, meet some kind of girl, get some kind of uni work done (if i get in, which is still uncertain), watch a shitload of TV, drink more than I should, eat like a teenager, and I'll get to this point again and I'll be one year older. I'll have another year's worth of learning, cynicism, pop culture, and everything else that happens to someone in a year, and I'll be right here, posting another post just like this one. posted by Keegan at 9:04 pm ... 0 comments

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