Friday, December 16, 2005

Lift Your Game, Son

I don't think I belong in hospitality. I'm at my happiest deep in a book, my mind off in the distance organising it's thoughts around a concept, forming it into an idea that maybe one day will grip the psyche of the world through it's subconscious.

not filling up water glasses.

I'm not asking enough questions and I'm looking lost, and it's not the best time to be gripped in a funk of uncertainty as to just what exactly i'm doing next year. I got my marks back today (HD,D,D,P), and I'm still not sure if that's a D average or if it'll be enough to get me into honours - and if I'm not getting into honours, I don't want this job. I just want to take my savings and get out of the country for as long as possible, and get my mind on track. I shouldn't be buying box sets of DVDs to justify employment, to keep me pacified - I want to be out there in the wilderness getting my mind in order.

And if i'm not getting into honours, then these books I've been buying aren't much use to me at all. American Empire, Empire of Debt, China Inc, Resource Wars - Four books I've bought with the proceeds from this job, and it'll be nothing more than entertainment if I've got nowhere to exercise my knowledge.

I'm so unsure about my future it's paralyzing, and it's showing up at work enough to be noticed by managers. posted by Keegan at 10:37 pm

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