Monday, September 05, 2005

How A Call-Center Job Will Help You Talk To Girls (Theory)

*ring* *ring* "Hello?"
"Hello, my name is Keegan, I'm calling from My Mobile, and I'd like you to go out on a date with me. the date will take approximately 2-4 hours to complete, with the option for an ongoing relationship. would you like to participate?"
"No thanks, sorry I'm in a relationship right now."
"would you be interested in participating at a later date?"
"sure, why not. try again in six months."
"thankyou for your time."
*click*

*ring* *ring*..... *ring* *ring* "Hi"
"Hello, my name is Keegan, I'm calling from My Mobile, and I'd like you to go out on a date with me. the date will take approximately 2-4 hours to complete, with the option for an ongoing relationship. would you like to participate?"
"Sure why not, I'm not doing anything else right now."
"Excellent, well, we'll get started then. are you female?"
"well duh. hey, what is this anyway?"
"sorry, I've got to ask these questions, it's nothing to be worried about. and what age group are you in? 16-18/19-23/24-29/older"
"I just turned 20 last month."
"great, you meet the dating criteria. now, what do you look for in a guy?"
"well, he should be funny, smart, able to hold a conversation, able to do romantic things for me occasionally, and my friends have got to like him."
"anything else?"
"well, good in bed, and anywhere else I feel like doing it. but not till third date."
"anything else?"
"not really. so long as he's not desparate for cash all the time."
"great! now you said a guy should be funny... what do you mean by funny?"
"well, I don't like practical jokes, and i don't want a guy just making fart jokes all day, but he should be able to make me smile."
"what makes you smile?"
"well, when a guy is good with kids, that always makes me smile, but he should be able to find the funny side of things. I'm not sure really."
"what do you mean by the funny side of things?"
"well, he wouldn't be taking this survey seriously, that's for sure."
"you also mentioned that you'd like a guy to be smart. what did you mean by that?"
"well, he's not an Idiot, but not a genius either, I don't want him trying to impress me with jargon." *background noise* "Oh bugger, that's my friend, she's come over early. I've got to go, it's been nice chatting to you."
"can I call you back later? tomorrow evening?"
"yeah I guess, I'll be back tomorrow."
"and just one more thing, can I have your name please?"
"sure, its........................ posted by Keegan at 12:15 pm

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