Thursday, December 30, 2004

Xenophobic Agression Diffusion

Half Life, out of it's rusty cage again and this time i'm actually getting somewhere, further than i'd ever got on my own before. I've a lot of tension/agression to let loose, and I can't think of anything better than laying waste to alien scum, and a few Soldiers cos they're shooting at me. it's whetted my bloodlust for now, but it has given rise to a new hunger... for Half Life Two. Now admittedly, I've wanted the game since way back when they were first releasing teasers for it, but now... now...

Now I stop for a moment and think, cos Bhuddism, through "The Art Of Happiness", tells me that the desire for this game will not be satiated by the ownership of the game, or the use of the game. only through the realisation of why I want so bad, and the further realisation that it will not bring me happiness, can I find an inner calm.

I've felt pretty morose since Bush won, cos it means to me that for another four years international relations will get worse, and this trend towards fundamentalism in the world's greatest democracy will be irreversible, and it's looking like Oil's not going to be as expensive as I'd hope. I'm living in a world I don't like, and I'm using Computer Games to escape this world, having little patience for movies or television right now. Girlfriend's back in three days. i'm not gonna sleep at all... I'm shaking right now.

When Neither the World nor the Self seem satisfactory, there's not a lot to do but wait till it gets better, cos i'm in no condition to improve either right now. Only to escape from the Black Mesa Facility, and the complications in my mind...
posted by Keegan at 4:27 pm

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